The Beat of a Different Drum

The new iPhone 4 includes a front facing camera, which enables users to "video chat" to another iPhone 4. While this may be really cool to some, to others it will be the end of their career of adultery.

Example:
Significant other A - "You aren't home yet, I am beginning to be a little worried about you... Where are you?"
Significant other B/Cheater - "Oh, I got stuck at work."
Significant other A - "Really? Show me."

There you have it, folks. Cheaters, you have been warned.

The rules of being politically correct in society have definitely been toned down significantly over time. Things such as 40 pound bathing suits and skirts not passing the ankle is definitely a part of yesteryear. With all of this "free living" we have going about, there are still some boundaries that have yet to be determined in some cases. For example, let's take locker room etiquette into play. I understand that nakedness is an integral part of the whole locker room experience, but a 30 second maximum naked limit should really be enforced. Locker rooms are NOT a social location, therefore please refrain from hanging around (Note: the sky is the limit on the connotation of the term "hanging") and catching up on man-gossip without once speck of clothing on yourself. Many males make it a point to not accidentally catch a glimpse of some old dude in the buff, but you're not helping the situation by trotting around and sagging about for the world to see. Towels are for your convenience, use them wisely.

Being a 20 something male, the female gender is something that is often on the mind. However, there are many things that I just can't seem to make much sense of when it comes to the perception of attractive this day in age. Let me give you a few pointers, from a males perspective:

Orange skin is not attractive.

You're not an Oompa Loompa. There is a difference between having that sun kissed glow and looking like you just stepped out of a deep fryer. As opposed to hopping in the car and heading down to the nearest tanning salon for the twelfth day in a row, consider spending a few minutes outdoors to catch some sun. You don't want skin that looks like it could upholster a Lexus in a later life.

"Platinum" is NOT a haircolor

A few NATURAL looking highlights here and there is not a crime at all. However, It's no good looking like you were in a boxing match with a bottle of Clorox. Tip: If it looks like you should bail your hair with some hay, its time to re-evaluate your cosmetology opinions.

Animal prints belong on animals

You're a human being, not Chester the Cheetos dude. Let him have the fun with the spots, that is unless you are trying not to be seen while in the middle of the Sahara desert.

You cannot defy gravity

Boobs that are two inches from your chin are not natural. Drop those bombs down a little bit before you endanger someone or yourself.

Last but not least,

Back-up on the make-up

I don't see you laying in a casket somewhere, so there is no need to do yourself up like you are a corpse. Unless your Mimi Bobeck, keep it under a pound a day. You might be surprised how much lighter your head will feel.

I was a marginally quiet and "chill" baby/toddler/child growing up. However if I did something out of line, I was quickly reminded that it wasn't kosher to do so. Fast forwarding to year 2010, things have definitely made a turn for the worse with parents not seeming to "know what to do about it." Suggestions: If your child is running around a restaurant climbing on things like its a playground, get them a leash. You wouldn't certainly ignore someone screaming your name repeatedly at the top of their lungs, so don't do it to your child. You are boss, act as such. Don't hire a British nanny to come in and stick your kids in "time out," do it yourself. For those who say it's "cruel" and "mean" to stick a kid in a corner for a few minutes, I'm pretty certain I can think of something a little more cruel than that.

Moral of the story: If you didn't get away with it, don't let your kids get away with it.